Comparative Journal on "Prue" and "My Heart Is Broken" With Feminist Insights

     Through times of inequality and oppression, literature has worked as a “window of expression” for female authors to express their thoughts on the issue regarding sex. This hold true for Alice Munro and Mavis Gallant, who, in each of their short stories, featured a female character obviously subject to a feminine critique. Although Prue and Jeannie, each protagonists of Munro’s Prue and Gallant’s My Heart is Broken, play a role an agent of the authors’ feminine intentions, they convey totally different versions of feminism regarding the relationship to their surroundings and their ways of dealing with the outside world.

     Munro and Gallant establish a polar opposite relationship between their main protagonists and the world around them. Prue is a well-liked character who is active, vivacious, and considerate of others, whereas Jeannie seems to be a social misfit who barely “carries on” her life at the construction camp. At first glance, I found it quite difficult to identify anything wrong with Prue. After a period of contemplation, however, I found out the trap I had fallen into – the trap of male-dominance. Swayed by the positive descriptions, I initially failed to grasp the uncomfortable truth lying under Prue’s friendliness. As much as she was being friendly, Prue has been hiding her true self for the sake of the community she belongs to. Prue, the one who “never takes herself too seriously” and is free from “any real demands or complaints,” may have “maturity,” “maternity,” and “real troubles” deep within.

     We readers can get a sense of covertness in Prue’s manner, as she complains about nothing but her name when she has deeper concerns which are exposed to the readers through her habitual stealing of Gordon’s possessions. Trying to fit in to the circumstances, Prue is not honest to her feelings (towards Gordon, which she clearly has, although she may not be entirely devoted to him) and thus continuously takes Gordon’s little keepsakes (which she associates with Gordon) and “more or less forgets about [them]” just to make it easier for her to forget about Gordon himself. Even when it is clear her “good friend” Gordon regards Prue as a backup plan, she tries to assess his words in the most positive way, never blaming him for being ambiguous over love. Munro’s intention is revealed through Gordon’s perception of Prue as an object he can acquire whenever he wants to and Prue’s submissive attitude toward love as well as other aspects of life. They are in line with second-wave feminism in that although Prue is of equal stance with Gordon, de facto inequality exists in Prue’s thoughts and actions. With this in mind, I was left to sympathize with Prue’s submissiveness.

     Conversely, Jeannie from My Heart Is Broken hardly fits into the society she recently moved to, and unlike Prue, she never tries to make herself fit. Such disparity in female protagonist’s attitude is a reflection of the different trends feminism. Gallant aims at feminism on individual level rather than setting a universal notion of feminism, which is a central idea in third-wave feminism. People around – perhaps with the exception of Vern who happens to be an extremely supportive husband – view her as a pitiful creature. Associated with Jean Harlow, the famous sex symbol, by her annoying neighbor, Jeannie is condemned of her misbehaving and loitering around instead of doing house-chores – even when she has been raped by another man.

     Apart from being viewed as a hopelessly dependent being who can only survive with the support of her husband, Jeannie is blamed for her own victimization – for behaving like a slut. Why Gallant chose rape as her literary topic can be clearly understood in the context of the recent Slutwalk Movement of the third-wave feminism (although this story was written far before the third-wave), a protest to stand for victims of rape who are accused of their “sluttiness.” However, although she retains her individuality instead of acting in favor of others, Jeannie still shows certain level of passiveness in that she doesn’t really try her best to defend herself; she acts calmly and simply tries to let go of her misfortune. Perhaps Gallant intends to encourage women to stand up to male-dominated authorities instead of chickening out, at the same time poking fun at patronizing authorities such as Mrs. Thompson, who as a matter of fact, is making her didactic speech based on what she heard while taking her doll for a walk!

Albert's 1st College Essay

One two three, one two three… My proud gaits take me to the center of spotlight, where I am overwhelmed by the myriad of flashlights and brightly twinkling eyes – all anticipating what legendary show I have prepared to perform before them. As I check the mic, a million thoughts rush inside my brain, making complex connections between every neuron in every possible way:

“How did anyone come up with microphones in the first place? Who was the lucky bastard to have his voice heard through a mic for the first time in the history of mankind? How many different people sympathized or empathized with these lyrics?”

Then, when the first note come out of my cords, the rambling of thoughts reach their final stop and all my nerves join together to form an anticipation of energetic excitement. As the song develops, however, the myriad of pairs of oval lights merge into one huge blur of disenchantment. When the melody fades, I will have to step down from the stage and be forgotten from the repertoire.

Every show starts with a burst of joy and anticipation but ends with fading drama. The performers can do their best but in the end, all they achieve – if they’re lucky enough – is a faint sense of emotion lingering in their minds.

"All the world's a stage"             

Every start comes with an ending, and this holds as much truth for life as it does for shows. In that vein, everything surrounding us is really nothing much more than mere pineapple cans, waiting on the display stand for their expiration date to come. There is a set ending destined for everyone and everything – it’s just a matter of sooner or later. So instead of crying with abject despair after acknowledging our fate, we’d better make the best out of what we currently have.

Still, you know what? Promising to yourself you are going to live life at its fullest while we have the opportunity may sound easy, but when you remind yourself of the resemblance to the miserable pineapple cans on the icy, steel rack, it’s not as easy as it sounds. You feel some parts of the juicy, yellow pulps are going to rot in any second. Most people fail to find just the right preservative and end up “rotten,” far before their date of expiration. For me, the easiest way out of this state of staleness was by idolizing the lives of splendid characters portrayed in movies, books, and pretty much any other genre of art. In a way, my idols were some sort of drugs in my life.

While I was sitting here, hopelessly watching as time did its magical yet cold-blooded trick, all those living incarnations of awesomeness were playing lead roles in each and every one of their lives – although in a fictional land. They and their connections to each other lingered on in the minds of many including myself. June and her Joy Luck Club never seemed to expire, even when time passed and some of its members were dead. The white feather which “carried all good intentions” will always have the same old heartfelt intentions to June, even many years after her mother’s burial.

“Ooh, I think I like your pineapple can theory. Except that you already have a Joy Luck Club of your own!”

Hayoung, the daughter of my mom’s closest friend, suggested after she heard about my pineapple can theory. You see, I've been close friends with children of my mother’s best friends as the three families spent so much time together and made fond memories. It is a bond I’d never wish to lose. Nowadays, the three families do not meet as often as we did when we were little kids, but we still keep in touch and hold annual gatherings. Although we do not keep the bond as connected as before, I’ve now realized that the memories live on forever, just like June’s precious feather.

Right here, right now. These are the magical words to living life fully. Look around, and enjoy what you have, and you’ll be surprised to find out what valuable memories still linger on.

One two three, One two three…I step down from the stage. This time, I’m no longer miserable, for the end of one show means the start of another, the jolly pile of fond memories piling up time after time.

30 Things About Me!!!

1. I absolutely LOVE playing soccer, more than any other type of sport. But surprisingly, I’m not so much into watching soccer matches or being a huge fan of one specific soccer club.

2.  I’ll have to be real honest with this. I think I’m quite talented at singing. But the thing is, I’m not sure how most others feel about my claim. If they disagree, then I think it’s mainly because they haven’t heard me sing in my best condition. After I had vocal training, singing became something more than a simple hobby; it transformed into a “window of expression” for my feelings, especially when I’m hurt by whatever hardships in life.

3.   Living abroad in the US for 2 years has turned out to be one big turning point in my life. I experienced a huge change in my personality as well as my attitude towards life: before, I was a shy child. After 2 wild years in California, I now just couldn’t resist the idea of getting the entire spotlight at everything I do.

4.   I think I might have a thing about East Asian countries. I once fell in love with Hong Kong for no special reason, have visited HK, Singapore, Japan, China, and am currently into Chinese culture, which also does not have a solid reason.

5.  I like to know about other people. Things they do, reasons for some noticeable actions or traits, and the understanding of mankind with respect to different social contexts. Maybe this is why I’m interested in cultural studies and anthropology. Some kids make fun of my somewhat “absurd” fields of interest, but who are they to judge?

6.  I hate to say this myself…but guess what? I’m a romantic guy. I can’t seem to get my mind off of things I truly love, and I constantly imagine out-of-nowhere fantasies about them. I make use of fancy quotes I see in movies or TV shows and song lyrics all the time. I seldom use those directly in 1-to-1 conversations; instead, I devise plans to create a situation in which that cheesy stuff will fit, although this never seems to work.

7.  I am a “person of soft power.” I abhor bossing people around even if I’m in the position to lead. I prefer persuading people to do their work from their heart, although it often takes a long time to establish such relationship with one’s group.

8.  I dream of living the lives of awesome characters from movies, novels, or pretty much any kind of source. After watching a good memorable film, I look into the mirror and pretend to be the hero from the movie. But then after a little while, I realize I’ve been making total fool out of myself.

9. I, and hopefully most others, regard myself as a caring, considerate person. Sometimes, because I believe such a trait ruins my “manliness” I’m expected to possess, I struggle to be nonchalant about things around me and be cool, which, according to my friends, is all revealed in my facial expressions.

10. Not many people would think I’m fat or at least chubby, so I’m pretty sure about how surprised they’ll be when they hear about my amazing appetite. I usually go on binge after starving for a few meals in a row. I once ate 8 dishes of sushi at a Buffet!

11. Nowadays, I’m madly into this American sit-com called “How I met your mother.” I guess I get some “substitute satisfaction” from the character’s lives. There are so many precious quotes and beautiful scenes from numerous episodes, including my all-time favorite: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain.”

12. When I was young (and I mean REALLY young), I never wanted to stand out from others, at least as far as I remember. However, it turns out that I’ve always wanted to be the center of spotlight at everything after all. I have hard time admitting defeat, although I’ve had plenty of such experience in the past years at KMLA. Nevertheless, I have no regrets.

13. I am easily moved emotionally by words or actions others wouldn’t put too much significance in them.

14. I don’t know if this is due to my habit of binge-eating or the stress I get from schoolwork (maybe both, actually), but I seem to have an extremely weak intestines. I always have butterfly stomachs with growling sounds. Weak intestines might actually be the cause for my binge-eating. It’s too hard to decide which one is accountable for the other one.

15. I am in love with a singer named Kim Yoon-a. Don’t get me wrong here. I love her as my hero, not as the subject of amorous intentions. Her devotion to and passion toward what she truly loves have always re-fueled my enervated soul whenever in times of hardship. The unique lyrics in many of her songs, which echo her attitudes toward life, touch upon the deepest emotions in my heart and soothe my soul.

16. In a way, I guess I’m an extremely dependent human being. I always need my own, unique ideal type or role-model to feel comfortable in my daily-life. Without an ideal figure to look upon and fantasize about, I somehow seem to lose my sense of identity and become a “nobody.” When I lose the certain taste of my fantasy, I desperately struggle to find a new one I can rely on. Some of my past ideals types are Olivia Hussey and Ye-jin Son. 

17. In elementary school years, I had a playdate with my friend at my house. We were playing ping-pong on the floor and when I went to the far corner of the room, I found a humongous and black-furred cricket crouching on the ball. Immediately, I freaked out to death and vomited at the sight of my father getting rid of it because I was absolutely disgusted by the idea of touching its furry, squish belly. I guess one could refer to my lingering fear of crickets as a trauma.

18. I have a nickname called “Albie.” It was originally spelled “Alby,” but then my friend from Hong Kong pronounced the last syllable “by,” rhyming with “I” so I decided to change the spelling. Despite the fact that many of my friends make fun of this nickname, I really like it, mostly because the name “Albert” has a much too erudite sense in it which I am not capable of handling.

19. I have a 'Joy luck Club" of my own. Since I could barely walk on my own, I've been close friends with children of my mother’s best friends. The three families-including mine-used to go on trips together. Although we couldn’t meet as often as we used to due to us growing up and getting busier and busier, we still hold gatherings at least once in every 6 months. The intimate bond between the other two families is something I wish keep for the rest of my life.

20. The first word I muttered out loud was “watermelon.” For most kids, however, their first words would be something like “ma” or “pa.” Am I destined to be unable to fulfill my filial duties from such a young age? This thought kind of makes me feel sorry for my parents.

21. I am a born-workaholic! Even from an extremely young age, I guess. A relative of mine told me that I once shouted out loud I had work to do and should therefore go home when I was at a family gathering.

22. I hate being teased. Most of the time, I try to disregard any kind of teasing, but I’m afraid it will hurt my reputation. I know from the bottom of my hurt that I shouldn’t make a big thing out of it, but I always find myself reacting in the exact opposite way.

23. I believe and live up to my “pineapple can theory.” I got this idea from one of my favorite movies, “Chungking Express.” Basically, it’s about expiration dates which fall on relationships between pretty much anyone we know. According to the theory, there is an expiration date for all relationships-just like pineapple cans-which we might or might not realize. We just have to admit the simple yet disturbing fact and enjoy every single moment you spend with others, for the fond memories never die out whereas the relationship itself always does. 

24. I’m a pseudo-pessimist, if there is such a phrase. I don’t believe in happy-endings, but thanks to this belief, I struggle to make everything before the ending as happy as they can be. This attitude is sort of in line with the pineapple can theory.

25. I’m not afraid to say that I cry a lot. I don’t usually burst into tears, but rather only get to the point where tears well up in my eyes. I get such experience when reading books, listening to songs, and watching films. Why not be true to your emotions deep down, and repress your genuine feelings? Tearless preoccupation of males is not a good-enough excuse for me.

26. I believe outer appearances have as much importance as, if not more, than inner qualities of a person. It’s not a matter of good-looking or being handsome. What I pay attention to is one’s sense of neatness and tidiness. Keeping a neat appearance reflects one’s respect toward others.

27. Throughout my school life, teachers have often told me that I am slightly stubborn in that I have hard time absorbing new information or techniques. They say I try to stick with what I already know or possess. This, although a bit discomforting, is true to some extent considering the fact that I’m a relatively conservative person, born and raised in a household with conservative atmosphere.

28. I’ve never been in a serious relationship with anyone, although I feel like I’m currently on someone’s hook (Shh!!!) Still, I believe “the one” for me is getting here as fast as she can, so my plan is to simply wait until fate does something about it.

29. I don’t know why, but I somehow feel really connected to Hong Kong (and no, this is not because of the infamous Aika!) During the short stay, I had the best moments in life. (Although I have to admit that I’ve had a few “best” moments so far) I’m planning to re-visit HK after graduating from KMLA.

30. At night, especially I am working by myself with all my roommates asleep, I feel hopelessly lonely. But here is the funny thing; although I loathe the idea of being lonely, I kind of enjoy the time all alone without any possible source of disturbance. 

Chekhov's Real Intentions in "The Student"

On a chill, lonely evening when winter has begun to show signs of its arrival, Ivan Velikopolsky, a 22-year old student of the clerical academy, walks in the brooding meadow and meets two widows to experience a sudden yet huge moment of revelation on the grandeur of life. Despite the blunt exclamation of joy and optimistic realization on the surface, however, Chekhov ultimately seems to convey a sense of cynicism in his work, “The Student,” through the implied callowness of Ivan and the use of literary techniques. His pessimistic view towards Ivan, and by extension, life in general, also echoes his own personal situations in which he had been around the time he wrote this short story.

One thing readers should keep in mind when reading and analyzing Chekhov’s famed short story is Ivan’s callowness regarding life and theological studies. The title itself, “The Student,” implies that Ivan is an inexperienced learner, not at all a sage of wisdom. The abrupt and somewhat needless mentioning of his age at the moment of revelation actually serves its purpose of adding on to Chekhov’s hints of Ivan’s inexperience. Perhaps Ivan’s puerile words and condescending attitudes – how he looks down on the two widows (who have had more life experiences) and makes extremely abrupt connections to arbitrary objects or situations to those mentioned in the Biblical story of Peter and Jesus – are due to his lack of experience. Learned clerics wouldn’t make such irrelevant relations to Apostle Peter based on mere instance of standing in front of a camp fire and mutter out, “At just such a fire the Apostle Peter warmed himself.” Later on, Ivan takes it too far again by calling the diachronic links as “unbroken chain of events” after witnessing emotional responses of widows. Once readers become aware of Ivan’s callowness, it is hard for them to truly empathize with his “transcendent” realization, as Ivan is stigmatized as an unreliable character.

Chekhov utilizes not only untrustworthy characterization, but also literary devices to create an ending infused with cynicism. The narration develops as the student proceeds along with the “cold, penetrating wind…from the east,” heading to the “west where the cold crimson sunset lay a narrow streak of light.” This directional symbolism regarding the east and west is a universally-shared common ground with respect to the sun’s movement. Since the student is heading toward the west – the direction where the sun goes down – he seems to be proceeding toward the downhill of life, not at all in line with the overly explicit exaltation at the ending. Also, the blended juxtaposition of the Biblical allusion and Ivan’s encountering with the two widows creates a verisimilitude between Ivan and Jesus, and Apostle Peter and Vasilisa, especially because of the imagery of weeping and sobbing bitterly is held in common. The extended Biblical resemblance surrounds Ivan with his own absurd fantasies, leaving him with nothing more than pity and dim-wittedness, rather than elated expectation for the upcoming future.

The cynicism readers feel towards Ivan and in more broad terms, life in general, reflects Chekhov’s personal life. Born into a devout Russian Orthodox household, Chekhov led a generally miserable childhood and was often economically pressured. Even when he started to gain recognition from literary critiques, earning him a Pushkin Prize, he had to go through some of the toughest times in his life – his brother’s sudden death and his deteriorating health. Around the time Chekhov wrote “The Student,” he had been traveling to the penal colony in Sakhalin Island in search for a true purpose in his life. When Chekhov’s interest in prison reform and his interviews with thousands of convicts in the penal colony are taken into consideration along with his misfortunes, it is natural to conclude that he turned away from optimism.

On the superficial level, “The Student” may be seem to be dealing with a heavenly revelation on the meaningfulness of life, possibly owing to the excessive usage of inflated diction. However, when the text is scrupulously analyzed and Chekhov’s personal background is taken into account, readers can no longer bear to stand in his shoes, and they can truly grasp the originally intended cynicism toward both Ivan and life itself. 

In Bacchus We Trust

Dr. Bacchus, splendid savior of students all over the world! On behalf of all students, I would like to thank you for all your efforts to wake us up when we need to be aroused. Whenever we are cramming for exams or oppressed by tons of assignments, we look for you. You always reply to our desperate calls with your tangy yet sweetish flavor. To us students, you are the holy light glimmering under the total darkness of our seemingly determined fate. At nights, we sense an overwhelming iron curtain of weariness casting over our hopeless future. You give us the power to find a loophole in the iron curtain with you magical prescription, Taurine.

Dr. Bacchus, the greatest benefactor of all! As you always told us, life is full of obstacles and stressful situations. God has deceived us in that he gave us only 2/3 of our lives. It has been ages since people hoped to get hold of the rest 1/3, and now look at what great privilege you have given us. You made it possible for us to get through with whatever obstacles we face and live our lives fully. You are the true guardian of mankind who bravely stood up to God’s dishonest decisions.

Dr. Bacchus, friendly yet tough companion of weary souls! You are well-liked among exhausted students, but you are not so popular among other doctors. Sorry to tell you this, but you are being bullied in the medical world. Other doctors do not really trust your methods of therapy, saying you are a mere charlatan. But no worries, for I have no faith in every single word they speak out. It is they who are real charlatans, belittling your talents in order to get rid of a skillful competitor. Dear doctor, I have great devotion for you and would like to get advice from you even in my dreams, but I just cannot, for you always keep me awake due to your immense presence.

Dr. Bacchus, helping anyone in need! Often times, I am worried about my absolute faith in you. You sometimes fail my honest request against sleep. Last time you gave your answer to my prayers with 3 bottles of your magical drink, but I was defeated by the evil forces of fatigue. Since the time I met you, you have made my sense of time-management as dull as it can be. It was all because of your madly effective treatments. So please do not ever leave me alone at times of hardship. O’ doctor, doctor! Master of eventide! Only you have the power to let me survive in the long nighttime and see the rising sun with warm hope for the imminent day. I will ask for you tonight as I always have done. Until then, farewell!

Tales of the Unexpected - Journal #1

     In Dahl’s Tales of the Unexpected, stories have routinely uncomplicated structures: playful-toned storytelling until almost the end and then a sudden twist-usually swiftly turning towards the extreme negative-at the end. Through such negative twists at the end of the stories, Dahl successfully conveys his themes on the ugliness of human nature pertaining to greed.

     In most of the stories, the setting and milieu of the scenes are luxurious. In stories such as Taste, My Lady Love, My Dove, Dip in the Pool, and Skin, characters who engage in a broad range of lavish activities appear: from gourmets and lovers of wine to a dilettante who acts as if he was a great patron of arts. The settings are also quite deluxe as well, ranging from a grand house of an aged but bored couple of wealth to a passenger ship with auctions going on. However, the characters are not really fit for such deluxe lifestyle. Often, Dahl’s clever twists at the end reveal this truth. Richard Pratt turned out to be a cheater after all, the young Snapes were actually not so affluent and were desperate for money, Mr. Botibol committed stupidity for money and lost his life, and Drioli certainly was not a man who could afford his expensive tastes for the arts. 

     Comprehension of the deep meanings underneath these few silly stories becomes possible with the recognition of the basic desire of mankind to lead luxurious lives far above those of others. Although people are born with such longing, people stop and resign with simply feigning their ideally desired selves in plebeian environments because the futile dreams they had held turned out to be much too unrealistic. In Tales of the Unexpected, Dahl explores the inane high-dimensional greed and the sad reality that prevents such yearning from coming true.

     Because of the initial calm tone and description with nothing noticeable going on, I first got the impression that the stories were too naïve and dull. However, after getting accessed to the sudden bend, I was able to grasp Dahl’s intentions. The initial plainness was intended to arouse a sense of normalness that anyone can find in commonsense situations. At normal settings like these, people wouldn’t do such foolish things just as the characters mentioned above have done. But when the silly desire for luxury comes in play, they are capable of committing silly and even wicked deeds to feign what they wish to be.

     Take Mr. Schofield in Taste for instance; a righteous person-just the person Mr. Schofield would have been if it wasn’t for the wine-would never bet on his daughter over something so trivial like guessing some facts about a specific brand of wine. However, when two fancy houses and his pride in wine, a symbol of luxury, come into play, Mr. Schofield stupidly bets on his daughter. His lavishing craving for aristocratic livelihood, although he was never fit for such a lifestyle, distorts his humane consciousness.

     Drioli, the poor protagonist of Skin, is another fascinating example. He was certainly not a man of the upper class. However, he acts as if he belongs to such aristocratic class, even when he is left old and impoverished. After he decides to “sell” Soutine’s painting on his back due to extreme hunger, he leans towards a luxurious lifestyle-which actually was not meant for him-that the hotelier proposes. Craving for an opulent life at the hotel, poor Drioli just follows a total stranger without considering the possibility of deceit. Miserable Drioli may have been too hungry to think over the stranger’s proposal, but there is no doubt his greed for sumptuous style of living cast a great deal of influence in his making a dangerous decision.

     Dahl rather explicitly reveals the dark side of human nature with a clear contrast between the plain, fun tone at beginning of each story and grave, gruesome twist at the end. I have not yet read more than half of the stories in this book, but it has become quite clear that he wanted reveal that greed comes in play even in most normal settings, and people carry out downright stupidity because they have a desire to belong to the upper cluster.