2013. June 6th, Thursday
It feels very weird, even at this moment as I am writing this down on the probably last page of my diary, to share this shocking truth at least with a piece of paper. How should I start my life-long confession? Should I simply tell my secret, or should I give a small hint? What would others think if they supposedly read this confession? Would the friendship that I built all those years with my dear acquaintances be destroyed? Would they feel sorry for hearing my secret? Never have I felt so nervous yet excited to write something in my beloved diary.
Huh? What in the world is he talking about? All this time, I thought we had no secrets between our relationship. This is getting a bit mysterious…
Well, here it is! I am not a human being! All this time, I have been lying to all my dearest friends and even to Mary Jane, the dearest of them all. There! I did it!
Oh, my! Oh, God…I just can’t believe this. Well, let’s keep reading for now.
I am not a human being. Isn’t this beyond surprising? I am not a human being, different from all my friends and people I’ve met. I am a type of creature whose outer appearance looks like that of humans but inside is filled with active spider-like minuscule creatures. If anyone I know could recall, I have abnormally slime arms, which supports the fact that I am different from normal human beings.
Come to think of it, he did have extremely slim arms. But who in the world could imagine that such a handsome man is not a human, but a hideous creature filled with spiders? How disgusting it is! How could he conceal his true identity so well? Oh, all my affection an joyous feelings towards him seem to be escaping from myself, after hearing this shocking truth. I certainly do not wish to believe that I had feelings for a spider!
I was born in a cave, where no one belonging to the human race could have possibly reached before. It was possible for me to be born inside a cave because like I said, I am not a human being. My family members are all like me; they are all creatures filled with spiders, although their outer looks resemble that of humans. My role-model is ‘Oong-nyu’, who used to be a bear but later successfully transformed into a human after spending 21 days in a dark cave to marry a king named ‘Huan-oong’. Becoming a perfect human, instead of only resembling the outside, has been a common wish of my race for a long time. My mother, who also had longed to become a human, put me in a cave to follow the steps of Oong-nyu. I spent my entire early childhood in the cave, but nothing happened. After turning 10 in human age, I got out from the cave to live in the human society. Socialization was not very easy, but I did manage to learn human language and culture.
Wow! I’m just…I…I simply have nothing to say! What is this? A science fiction in real life? He must’ve been out of his mind! I mean, he is saying that he was not a human but a spider, right? Maybe he was suffering from minor schizophrenia near the end of his life. Who knows?
As a human-resembling spider, I experienced so many things. Nobody recognized my true identity, and I had made good friends with a lot of people throughout my life. Looking back, I have no regrets except for one thing. I want to apologize to Mary Jane, the true love of my life, for betraying her love and escaping from her kindness. I did not want my identity to be discovered. If we had got married, she would have found out, and all her expectations and affection for me would have turned into despair, misery, and disbelief, which was the last thing I wanted to happen. I ran away from her not because my love had cooled, but because I most dearly loved her, and I did not want her to get disappointed. But seeing her tears and watery eyes, I regretted my poor decision. Oh, if only she could understand my troubled mind!
Oh, Peter! Is this why you ran away? I am so sorry to have misunderstood your honest intention. All this time, I’ve been wandering how the feeling of love could change so easily after you had left me. I was so sure of your love that I almost panicked when you suddenly left me. But it sounds like you have been near me secretly all along.
Remember, Mary Jane? The time when we went to the movie theater to watch a horror film early in the morning? You opposed to this idea, but I insisted that we go. I do not know why I did that, but I knew we had to go to the movies that morning for some reason. In the back of the dark theater, we kissed for the first time, and I felt as if all my spidery-senses were going up in the sky. There was a scene where a hairy monster was trying to attack a poor young girl, and you were outraged, rather than scared by the scene. You looked so cute when your lips were trembling with anger, your eyes shaking with deep horror. From that moment, I wanted to be the one who could be always on your side to help you get through the hardships in life. However, as the movie went on, I slowly had a thought in my mind, that I might be the hairy monster inside and was trying to harm you whether it was my intention or not. I realized our love could not be fulfilled because of our fundamental differences. I decided that running away would be the best thing to do in order for you and me to be happy in the end. How could fate be so cruel? Letting our love develop in the first place, and then making us realize the difficulties of fulfilling that enthusiastic emotion!
I may have told a lie all this time, that I was a human when I was not one. Some could say that I was a total liar trapped in my own selfish thoughts. But I can proudly say one thing for sure. Although my life was filled with lies and disguise, one thing had been so true that I cannot even describe it in words. I may have been a hairy monster, but my love for you was real. My love! Oh, if only you could understand! If only…
O’ course I remember, Peter! I still remember the exciting feelings of our first kiss in that old theater. I can still recall the dear words you have whispered to me. I did not know about your hardships and I only thought of mine, hoping that you would understand and protect me from falling. Oh, selfish me! The one who should be sorry here is not you, but me. I did not know loving could be so challenging. I cannot describe the sorrowful feelings I possess at this moment. I most truly understand your decision and respect your thoughts. You were the love of my life, Peter! The first, only, and true love! Now, I am here to say good bye, Peter. It’s time to let you go. I wished that this time would never come, but it did, and now I have to stand up to the most sorrowful moment of life all alone without you. Parting is such a misery, yet I have to endure it. Farewell, Peter!
It was early in the morning, and she gently put the antique diary into the deep grave, tears dropping from her eyes, her lips trembling with sorrow, and her hands shaking. Then, she went to the old theater where unforgettable memories still remained. There, she went to the seat in the corner of the very back row, and sat down. This was where she made her first kiss with him. Now that she was all alone, she gripped the seat next to her and calmly closed her eyes. The spider-man who longed to become human rested in her memories forever.
It feels very weird, even at this moment as I am writing this down on the probably last page of my diary, to share this shocking truth at least with a piece of paper. How should I start my life-long confession? Should I simply tell my secret, or should I give a small hint? What would others think if they supposedly read this confession? Would the friendship that I built all those years with my dear acquaintances be destroyed? Would they feel sorry for hearing my secret? Never have I felt so nervous yet excited to write something in my beloved diary.
Huh? What in the world is he talking about? All this time, I thought we had no secrets between our relationship. This is getting a bit mysterious…
Well, here it is! I am not a human being! All this time, I have been lying to all my dearest friends and even to Mary Jane, the dearest of them all. There! I did it!
Oh, my! Oh, God…I just can’t believe this. Well, let’s keep reading for now.
I am not a human being. Isn’t this beyond surprising? I am not a human being, different from all my friends and people I’ve met. I am a type of creature whose outer appearance looks like that of humans but inside is filled with active spider-like minuscule creatures. If anyone I know could recall, I have abnormally slime arms, which supports the fact that I am different from normal human beings.
Come to think of it, he did have extremely slim arms. But who in the world could imagine that such a handsome man is not a human, but a hideous creature filled with spiders? How disgusting it is! How could he conceal his true identity so well? Oh, all my affection an joyous feelings towards him seem to be escaping from myself, after hearing this shocking truth. I certainly do not wish to believe that I had feelings for a spider!
I was born in a cave, where no one belonging to the human race could have possibly reached before. It was possible for me to be born inside a cave because like I said, I am not a human being. My family members are all like me; they are all creatures filled with spiders, although their outer looks resemble that of humans. My role-model is ‘Oong-nyu’, who used to be a bear but later successfully transformed into a human after spending 21 days in a dark cave to marry a king named ‘Huan-oong’. Becoming a perfect human, instead of only resembling the outside, has been a common wish of my race for a long time. My mother, who also had longed to become a human, put me in a cave to follow the steps of Oong-nyu. I spent my entire early childhood in the cave, but nothing happened. After turning 10 in human age, I got out from the cave to live in the human society. Socialization was not very easy, but I did manage to learn human language and culture.
Wow! I’m just…I…I simply have nothing to say! What is this? A science fiction in real life? He must’ve been out of his mind! I mean, he is saying that he was not a human but a spider, right? Maybe he was suffering from minor schizophrenia near the end of his life. Who knows?
As a human-resembling spider, I experienced so many things. Nobody recognized my true identity, and I had made good friends with a lot of people throughout my life. Looking back, I have no regrets except for one thing. I want to apologize to Mary Jane, the true love of my life, for betraying her love and escaping from her kindness. I did not want my identity to be discovered. If we had got married, she would have found out, and all her expectations and affection for me would have turned into despair, misery, and disbelief, which was the last thing I wanted to happen. I ran away from her not because my love had cooled, but because I most dearly loved her, and I did not want her to get disappointed. But seeing her tears and watery eyes, I regretted my poor decision. Oh, if only she could understand my troubled mind!
Oh, Peter! Is this why you ran away? I am so sorry to have misunderstood your honest intention. All this time, I’ve been wandering how the feeling of love could change so easily after you had left me. I was so sure of your love that I almost panicked when you suddenly left me. But it sounds like you have been near me secretly all along.
Remember, Mary Jane? The time when we went to the movie theater to watch a horror film early in the morning? You opposed to this idea, but I insisted that we go. I do not know why I did that, but I knew we had to go to the movies that morning for some reason. In the back of the dark theater, we kissed for the first time, and I felt as if all my spidery-senses were going up in the sky. There was a scene where a hairy monster was trying to attack a poor young girl, and you were outraged, rather than scared by the scene. You looked so cute when your lips were trembling with anger, your eyes shaking with deep horror. From that moment, I wanted to be the one who could be always on your side to help you get through the hardships in life. However, as the movie went on, I slowly had a thought in my mind, that I might be the hairy monster inside and was trying to harm you whether it was my intention or not. I realized our love could not be fulfilled because of our fundamental differences. I decided that running away would be the best thing to do in order for you and me to be happy in the end. How could fate be so cruel? Letting our love develop in the first place, and then making us realize the difficulties of fulfilling that enthusiastic emotion!
I may have told a lie all this time, that I was a human when I was not one. Some could say that I was a total liar trapped in my own selfish thoughts. But I can proudly say one thing for sure. Although my life was filled with lies and disguise, one thing had been so true that I cannot even describe it in words. I may have been a hairy monster, but my love for you was real. My love! Oh, if only you could understand! If only…
O’ course I remember, Peter! I still remember the exciting feelings of our first kiss in that old theater. I can still recall the dear words you have whispered to me. I did not know about your hardships and I only thought of mine, hoping that you would understand and protect me from falling. Oh, selfish me! The one who should be sorry here is not you, but me. I did not know loving could be so challenging. I cannot describe the sorrowful feelings I possess at this moment. I most truly understand your decision and respect your thoughts. You were the love of my life, Peter! The first, only, and true love! Now, I am here to say good bye, Peter. It’s time to let you go. I wished that this time would never come, but it did, and now I have to stand up to the most sorrowful moment of life all alone without you. Parting is such a misery, yet I have to endure it. Farewell, Peter!
It was early in the morning, and she gently put the antique diary into the deep grave, tears dropping from her eyes, her lips trembling with sorrow, and her hands shaking. Then, she went to the old theater where unforgettable memories still remained. There, she went to the seat in the corner of the very back row, and sat down. This was where she made her first kiss with him. Now that she was all alone, she gripped the seat next to her and calmly closed her eyes. The spider-man who longed to become human rested in her memories forever.
Hmmm. I'll be honest. Of the many chainwriting pieces produced in class, this one about the spiders was among my least favorite. It is juvenile, silly, nonsensical, and - in my opinion - boring (in spite of being silly). So, I question your judgement in using it, when the one about the beautiful girl, which you started, was infinitely better. I think you are good writer with solid instincts, but there is little any writer can do with the spider-story to make it worth reading (short of framing it as play-time banter among seven year old boys).
ReplyDeleteThat said, the structure you have here IS metaficiton. And I guess it does make sense. But - in the end - I can't pretend that I enjoyed this. The point of the assignment is to hopefully produce something worthy of "literature." I think you can admit that the above "story" has little to offer in that regard.
Also, I found it impossible to read green print on the baby blue. Be mindful of readability.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comments:)
ReplyDeleteOne day late at night, I was listening to a song whose lyrics were about a beautiful young girl and an uglymonster.(pretty classical, isnt it?) It was about the true love of the monster towards the girl, and how the girl realized his truth and sincerity in the end. The melody of the song was somewhat melancholy yet joyful. I don't know...I guess I was sort of "inspired" by the song. However, as I read your comments and my work once again, it seems that I failed to deliver the truly inspirational feelings in my writing regarding the story-line and some expressions...
Oh, sorry for not considering the readability of the blog.
ReplyDeleteI changed the colors of the words and I think it's a bit more readable than before(when it was almost totally undecipherable...)