At first glance,
Oscar Wilde's "The Picture of Dorian Gray" might appear as an
edifying novel preaching the importance of leading an aesthetic life. After
all, Wilde truly fascinates his readers with Dorian’s attractiveness and Lord
Henry’s brilliant sense of speech, in spite of their pursuit of hedonistic lifestyle
filled with immorality in the name of aestheticism. On the other hand, Wilde
portrays Basil as a coward with no real taste of the ‘meaningful’ things in
life who eventually faces brutal death. Taking into consideration Basil’s job
as an artist, he is the one who is the most justified to lead a life dominated
by aestheticism. However, he nevertheless lives an upright life. The dramatic
difference makes a clear distinction between the boundaries of moral and mad
pursuit of aestheticism. Basil’s words, “I felt, Dorian, that I had told too
much, that I had put too much of myself into it,” indicate that he believes in
the different nature of artwork and real life. Dorian and Lord Henry, on the contrary,
regard actual incidents in life as mere artwork, an experiment for pure joy and
beauty, even. Such attitude is aptly explicated in Lord Henry’s own words about
Dorian’s “experimental” love towards Sibyl Bane: “He would be a wonderful study”
and “If you want to mar a nature, you have merely to reform it.” Therefore, it
is perhaps more accurate to assume that this Gothic novel is an ironic work
dealing with the need of realizing the discrepancy between artistic desire for
beauty and real life. In this sense, the intimate yet somewhat ironic juxtaposition
of two types of characters with very different values and attitudes achieves
its clear moral of the novel regarding art and life.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Friday, October 18, 2013
Adaptation on (a part of) Chapter 16 - The Catcher in the Rye
I decided to write an adaption on the scene
in chapter 16 where Holden walks to the Museum of Natural History in New York,
wishing that things wouldn’t
change and keep their original status-quo. As a student in KMLA, where a bunch
of changes are always taking place, and no one really knows for sure what
exactly is going on, I often am struck down by sudden changes in academics,
relationships with friends and teachers, and dormitory life. I did not follow
the exact structures and orders of incidents of the book. Instead, I focused on
the essential idea that was being dealt with at the end of chapter 16. So I
guess my ‘adaptation’ is more faithful and devoted to
the quintessential idea and theme of the original novel than it is to the
explicit outside formats and structures. Still, I tried to convey the
particular tone of Holden’s
use of language in the lines of Albert and use informal language just as Holden
would have done.
I recently watched a film which deals with change
in human emotions, and I really wanted to blend in some specific features of
the film in my adaptation work. The idea of looking at expiration date of
pineapple cans is actually from the movie, but I thought it would play a
pivotal role in delivering the emotional state of ‘Albert’ in my writing, so I included it
anyway.
“Class! We will have a quiz on the material we
have just learnt about. I know I told you guys we will have one next week, but
I guess we now have a change in schedule. Alright, you have until the end of
class.”
Shit.
Another ‘impromptu’
quiz. I hate taking quizzes. I guess I have a thing about them. I mean, who are
the teachers to measure our ability based on a piece of paper with nothing more
than some ink stains on it? The whole idea of such dictatorial standards just
disgusts me, y’ know. What’s more is that they keep deceiving poor students by
frequently changing test dates. Those bastards called teachers……
I basically flunked
the quiz. But hey, there’s nothing to worry about, y’ know. Today afternoon I
have two important plans. A soccer match with my friends in town and a date with my soon-to-be-girlfriend,
Aika. These things in life are the real important stuff, and they are probably what
people live up to, I guess. Compared to such grandeur values, a quiz? Phew,
most likely no more important than just one strand of Aika’s long, dark-blonde
hair. It’s funny how people make such a big deal out of such mediocre stuff. Excited
and all, I strolled down the hallway toward the exit sign of the school
building to go grab my soccer shoes. Then, my phone suddenly rang.
‘Beep, beep~beep, beep~’
“Wai?”
“Huh? Isn’t this Albert on the phone?”
“It is me, you stupid. ‘Wai’ means ‘hello’ in
Cantonese.”
“Alright. See why you are so into Cantonese
these days. You failed your English Composition class, and now you have a thing
for cool foreign languages. Isn’t it, Albert?”
“Stop BSing. Why you called?”
“Oh, our soccer match today, y’ know, it’s been
canceled. Change of practice schedules. Sorry.”
“Yeah? Well, here is what I wanted to say, ‘Screw
all of you!’ I have schedules too y’ know! Who are you to change my plans for
soccer?”
Then he hung up.
Screw them.
I hate people who make
changes in anything. Now I have one more reason to be pissed off today. All I
had left of today is the sweet date with Aika, I guess.
Shoot.
Aika is a pretty girl
from Hong Kong. She has really long, blond hair with the beautiful wave and
all. I met her in psychology class. From the moment I saw her, I swear I had a
tickling sensation from deep inside of my body. She looked as if Olivia Hussey
from the film Romeo and Juliet had come back to her youth right in front
of me. I do hate films, but not necessarily the actors and actresses in
them-especially the actresses, I think. I knew our date would be no sooner than
dinnertime, but I called her anyway simply because I wanted to hear her voice. To
make it a surprise for her, I decided to call her not with my phone, but at the
public telephone booth.
“Hey, Aika! Guess who it is.”
“Umm. Albert, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, yeah. Listen, about our date this
evening”
“Oh, right! Albert, before you say anything
else, I think I’ll have to make an apology first. I originally planned to go
out with you, but my parents insisted that I spend time with my relatives who
came to visit. I’m really sorry for the sudden change, I really am.”
“Aika, I don’t understand. Why do I always have
to be your second choice? If I’m not your first priority, then fine.”
“Albie, you know I don’t mean that. Don’t speak
like a jerk.”
“You know what? I don’t even want to talk to you
anymore.”
I don’t know why I got
so angry with her, but whatever the reasons were, I did. She’s the one who
first pissed me off, right? Like I said, I hate
changes, and I hate people who make changes even more. To be frank, I wish
everything had been guaranteed to maintain its current status quo. Changes can
hurt people, y’ know. Take me, for instance. I have three reasons to be mad,
and all of those three reasons were due to change.
I just wish things
would stay as they were, not frequently changing. I headed toward a convenience
store about two blocks from where I was. For some reason, I suddenly felt like
eating canned pineapple. I remembered that they sell Delmont Canned Pineapple
and what not. I bought a whole bunch of pineapple cans, and stared at the
colorful labels. The juicy pictures of golden pineapples have been exactly the
same since I was a little boy, and they probably will stay that way for the
next few decades at the very least. Lucky them, y’ know. Compared to these
little canned pineapples, what are we? Always making freakin’ changes, with
nothing guaranteed to last. Shit. Who says the mankind is the wisest specie in
the world, when we are no better than mere pineapple cans? Liars. If there was
an expiration date for human relationships, just like on pineapple cans, I
would surely put a million years on the goddam label below the barcode. That
way, I could be sure nothing would every change so suddenly, and I wouldn’t get
so pissed off like I was today.
While all these
thoughts filled my mind, I had already finished a dozen of these cans. I looked
up at the sky, and saw a thick cloud floating around. Even the clouds were
constantly moving, changing their positions.
“Can’t you guys stop moving, for Chrissake? Why
can’t anyone just stay where they are? Ugh!”
I grabbed another
canned pineapple to eat, hoping those pineapples would always taste the same
with the rich sugary-flavored pulps and all.

Friday, October 11, 2013
Do You Have Your 'Healer' Standing Beside You, Ben X?
- Title: Ben X
- Based on a novel inspired by a true story, Nothing Was All He Said.
- Genre: Drama Film, Documentary, Psychological Thriller
- Starring:
Greg Timmermans as Ben
Laura Verlinden as Scarlite
Marijke Pinoy as Ben's mother
<Owl City - Fireflies>
-Good to read with music if you wish to truly dig into the feelings of Ben,
as a similar toned electric synthesizer melody is frequently used in the film-
Ben X covers a wide range of issues regarding contemporary society:
bullying, cyberspace etiquettes, teenage suicide, etc. In this striking film, such
societal problems are blended well together with the more fundamental topic of
intolerance. The narration of Ben, malicious actions of his ‘friends’ at
school, comfort from his imaginary friend and supporter lucidly portrays the
significance and necessity of tolerance and empathy in today’s world.
In director Nic Balthazar’s bizzare Belgian-Dutch film Ben X, Ben(Greg Timmermans), a teenage-boy with Asperger Syndrome who acts a bit ‘differently’ from others, constantly gets bullied made fun of in school. His mother(Marijke Pinoy) tries her best to let her son get along well in school by providing him with loving care. However, Ben despises the world he lives in and always escapes to his imaginary world of the game of Archlord, where he becomes a great warrior who usually meets and saves another player by the name of Scarlite(Laura Verlinden). Not able to stand his friends’ bullying anymore, Ben conceives a plan for a suicidal ‘endgame’ to take revenge on his peers.
This is film has a peculiar structure in that there is a documentary film inside the film itself, and the documentary part is the story of Ben’s ‘endgame’. This way, viewers get the sense of involvement in the film because they are technically watching the documentary film that the characters inside the movie are watching as well. The double-structure helps viewers to feel an intimate relationship between Ben and them.
The brilliance
of the film is that it not only puts viewers in a close distance with the main
character, but also actually lets viewers actually be Ben. Throughout the film, scene after scene, the director
continually shows a similar counterpart portrayal of an action as how it would
be depicted in an imaginary game world. Also, visual and auditory techniques
are used: close-up screenshots of people’s mouths or eyes are constantly showed,
and disco and psychedelic style music, with background noise of cars passing
by, people shouting, and objects moving, is played very loudly. These two
disturbing yet meaningful devices allow viewers to become the eyes and ears of
Ben, feeling how hypersensitive Ben would perceive the world.
With the
aforementioned techniques and devices, Ben X gradually builds up to its
theme of tolerance and empathy. Scarlite, though she is in many aspects an
imaginary character, is a kind-spirited individual who cares for Ben from the
heart and empathizes with him mainly because she shares with him a part of his independent
life-in the world of Archlord. The last words of Ben’s mother at the ending
marks the highlight of the thematic tolerance when she says, “He is living”, despite
the fact that Ben had been talking to himself all along. Here, viewers are told
the moral of appreciating others who are different even if the are hard to understand
or fully empathize with. After all, “we can’t play endgames without our healers”,
just as Scarlite mentioned.
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
JOURNAL #2
PROMPT: [The significance of the aging portrait of Dorian. How does it relate to the theme of aesthetics? Also, how does the portrait show Wilde's view on the relationship of art/artist and morality?]
Eternal youth and innocence. These two
fascinating words-in many ways portraying very similar symbols and nuance-have
captivated people regardless of time and place. Many who were enthralled by the
concept, including Emperor Shi Huangdi from Qin dynasty of the ancient China
and Juan Ponce de Leon, set out ridiculously lengthy journeys to defy the
natural flow of time. Similar line of captivation can be found not only in the
lives of historical figures, but also in literature: Oscar Wilde’s masterpiece
which was heavily influenced by the Aesthetics movement. In the novel, a
beautiful young man named Dorian Gray succeeds in getting both, or at least
superficially; he himself does not age or decay, but a fine-looking portrait of
him gets old and deformed instead. Every time he does something morally
unacceptable, his portrait self takes the blame instead. Such radical
demolition of the boundary between real-life and artistry is of huge
significance.
Art is a mirror
of one’s life for both Dorian and Lord Henry. They even happily take the
extreme stance of considering their lives as pieces of art, which basically
illustrates the Aesthetics attitude of life. Such attitude is well reflected in
the magical switch of Dorian’s life and his image. The young one is so obsessed
with total appreciation of the arts is that he even views his own life as an
on-going work of art, and thus blurs the boundary between artist’s life and the
artwork. Fascinating and sweet it may sound, but the having such extreme
attitude is a violation of an important axiom in the preface: “It is the
spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors.” Dorian violates this warning
that artists should not reveal themselves in their artwork; he not only puts
much of himself into his work, but also becomes a part of it by treating his
life as a dramatic work of art. For that misdemeanor, Dorian later gets
punished: He not able to atone for his sins and is finally left with no other
choice than to kill his own soul-by stabbing the demoralized self in the
portrait.
From the
crippled misbehaviors of Dorian, the author Oscar Wilde poses a debatable
question: Can morality be violated for artistic causes? Generally, moral
standards have to be kept no matter what because doing so is a respectable sign
of being human. However, the field of arts, considered largely individual and
distant from other values in life, may be the only exception in the
aforementioned generalization. In other words, artists sometime brazenly defy
moral standards of society. Dorian, too, considers his work of art-his Hyde
self-first priority in front of all other societal virtues and morality. He
sometimes even seems to be glad at his despicable deeds mainly because his
artistic representation takes all the blame. Nevertheless, Wilde never gives up
hope in regard to human conscience. All the time Dorian committed hideous
actions and never seemed to feel guilty, his sense of guilt had been reflected
in the painting-his hidden Jekyll inner side. At the denouement, Dorian tries
to atone for his sins by stabbing the image in the portrait and eventually pays for them through his death.
Nowhere Man
<please read with music, if you really want to go deep into Wang Jing's feelings>
‘Aika….she’s
kind of pretty: Her long blonde hair, beautiful emerald eyes, and all that. Right!
Her voice! So low, smooth, and soothing. It’d be awfully nice to marry her. She’ll
softly whisper the word ‘love’ every morning in my ears with that marvelous
voice of hers. Oh, isn’t that nice! But then again, she’s too plain in some
ways. I mean, she’s just one of the many beautiful girls you can meet in the
streets of here in Falls Church, Virginia. Nothing REALLY attractive about her,
if you actually think about it…’
“Ghhh~~”

With a loud burp, Wang Jing closed the Facebook
screen. For the 19-year-old chemistry geek, Facebook stalking was the only
hobby that fascinated him in times when he was alone and tired of taking wild
guesses about how many molecules there would be in the entire universe. In such
times, he usually visited his friends’ Facebook walls-mostly that of girls-and
imagined strange things such as marriage, stage of ennui, and other numerous
fantasized behaviors of ‘to-become-girlfriends’.
“It seems like old Wang Jing is facebooking
again!”
“What is he up to anyways? Sometimes his
abrupt weirdness frightens me like hell.”
“The excessive stalking is not the only problem.
Have you guys heard him burp out really loud? I’d really love to find out what
the hell goes on under that thick throat of his.”
“Guys, hush! He’s coming!”
“Wh, what are you ladies talking about?”,
asked Wang Jing, as he approached the group of girls in his class.
“Nothing! Haha, it’s been some time we’ve
had the opportunity to talk to you in person.”, Gloria, a close friend of Aika,
answered with a stiff, feigned smile.
“Come one, girls. I heard at least
something about me. I heard one of you say out my name during the conversation.
By the looks of it, probably wasn’t such a nice thing about me, was it?”
“Hey, now Wang Jing…don’t be so defeatist,
you know”
“Defeatist? A, are you guys kid, kidding me
or what? I demand that I know the exact content of your conversation. I’m not
asking you to explicate on the hexagonal structure of water-hydrogen bonding or
something. It’s much simpler than explaining such phenomenon.”
“Here we go again. Another exciting daily
chemistry lecture in every day conversation given by Professor Wang Jing. Everybody
pay attention!”
“Don’t you dare mock me, you little..”
“Ghhhhhhh~”
Wang Jing’s loud
burp put an end to the hostile talk between him and Gloria. The girls went away
with a contemptuous laughter at poor Wang Jing, and Wang Jing feebly walked
back home, with the ridiculously thick chemistry textbook-Chemistry: Matter and Change-in his hands, as always.
As he thought
about the bonding angles of various substances, Wang Jing suddenly became overwhelmed
by the feeling of dismay: ‘Why am I so terrible when it comes to talking with
others? Especially girls, I think. Even today, that was Gloria, one of Aika’s
close friends. Wang Jing spent the whole afternoon pondering upon his inability
to converse with others in a friendly manner. He’d been in numerous quarrels
before-he was somewhat of a hothead even though calm in most times-but to his
surprise, the one he had that day made him feel depressed. All his confidence
in his own brilliance, super-enthusiasm in chemistry, condescending manner were
gone; instead, his mind was filled with worries for the future about his relationships
with friends. He couldn’t concentrate on what he was studying.
Late at night,
Wang Jing repeatedly wrote and erased chemical reaction equations in his
notebook, kept his eyes on the brooding night sky, and murmured lonely lyrics of
Deng Li Jun’s sad songs. Through the subtly cracked windows, he looked up at
the brightly twinkling stars of the Virginia sky, ruminating on where he would
fit in the diverse, multi-colored world. From the delineation of the stars, he
could see Aika’s face: she was smiling at first with her beautiful emerald eyes
gently twinkling at him. Then, in the blink of an eye, she stared at him
patronizingly with her charming lips whispering esoteric chemistry-related terminologies.
Bewitched by the two discrepant images of Aika up in the sky, Wang Jing drank
in the night-scenery. Silently and smoothly, he sang a song of the Beatles with
the mind of a drifter in this world.
“He’s a real nowhere man, sitting in a nowhere
land, making all his nowhere plans for nobody…”
Monday, September 2, 2013
The Eyes I Can Never Forget...
This
summer, I had a chance to go to Yanbian as an academic trip with three of my
hubaes. We had decided to research the play culture in Yanbian; since it is a
place to which many ancestors of today's Koreans moved either for better life
or more active independence movement under the suppressing Japanese rule, we
decided that it would be the perfect place to study the evolutionary stages of
Korean culture focused on gaming. Because of such sad reminders of Korea's
sorrowful days of suffer, Manchuria, a region in which Yanbian is included, has
been the topic of numerous Korean literature pertaining to the mournful stories
of deep resentment and longing for old homelands. In Yanbian, we saw many
historical sites and meaningful places such as the Duman River, Changbai
Mountain, etc. as expected. And we did feel some sudden burst in our emotions
regarding historical consciousness as we visited many of places figuratively
filled with “tears” of our ancestors. However, there was something else other
than such historical sites in Yanbian that gave me a shocking emotional burst.
It was meeting with a North Korean for the first time in my life.
On the
second day of our travel, our guide suggested that we go to a North Korean
restaurant where we probably would experience many surprising things. Although
the dinner at the LyuGyung restaurant was not originally planned, we decided to
go since we were all curious about North Korean style restaurant. We had
already watched some North Korean TV shows and newscasts on the first night
inside the hotel, but we never had any real-life encountering with an actual
North Korean. Both thrilled and somewhat anxious, we entered the restaurant
with shiny neon signs.
Inside,
the lights were similar to those of bars or clubs; they were a bit gloomy, but
not really gothic or frightening. The waitresses, who were really young-all of
them probably in their 20s- and beautiful, said hello as we entered in a
feigned cheerful tone. They were so defeatist and were making all kinds of
feigned welcomes(although many working at restaurants usually do so) that I
felt as if I was in a position where I sort of “bought” the waitress’s fake kindness.
They served food with a timid North Korean accent. What I noticed to be strange
was the atmosphere of rigidity. My companions and I had only spent a little more
than half an hour, but we could all feel the awkward sense of stiffness in the
waitress’s manners and speech.
Just as we
were almost done with our dishes, the lights changed and the ‘Peabada’(‘Blood
ocean’ in Korean) concerts started. Our guide told us that the frightening name
‘Peabada’ was the name of this musical group and that the waitresses-who were
also performers-were mostly daughters of high-ranking officials in North Korea.
We couldn’t figure out why the daughters of high-ranking officials would come
to Yanbian instead of living in their homeland, but we could guess that
whatever the actual reason was, it was not entirely from their free will. In
the acoustic “concert”, members of the Peabada group sang songs and played the
piano, guitar, and Gayagum. The lyrics of the songs were all
propagandist-praising of the Kim dynasty through excessive flattery.
![]() |
| a group photo with the young waitress whose eyes exhibited complex feelings of sorrow that more than moved our hearts. |
Other than
the conformity issue, there was something else that truly caught our attention.
It was their melancholy eyes which could never be belied even with their “smiley”
faces. Even though they were grinning and delightful on the stage, their eyes
were filled with sorrow. I was amazed at how profound I could feel by simply
looking at someone’s eyes. When I looked into one of the waitress’s eyes, I
swear I saw with my heart a silent yet loud SOS. From those eyes, I-for the
first time in my life-deeply pondered about the whole division issue of our
nation. Last semester, I spent a long time thinking about North Korean issues
to write an essay about them, but I never felt empathic at all. North Korea was
a place so distanced away that separated families and Gaeseong industrial
complex were none of my problem. Now that I have actually met a North Korean in
person, I am shameful of my past indifference. I don’t think I could ever forget
the sorrow in those eyes. Because of those eyes, North Korea will be a place
with much more spirit and value than the mere object of ideological disparity
and emotional wound from the war long ago.
Friday, August 30, 2013
The Picture of Dorian Gray - Reading Journal on Chap 1
The Picture of Dorian Gray
-Chapter 1-
My
connection-if anyone could call it so-with the novel The Picture of Dorian Gray began when I was in the second year of
elementary school. I read an abridged version of the book and truly enjoyed it.
Due to such good impression of the novel, I bought an original English version on
my first trip to Barnes & Nobles, the nearest bookstore to where I lived in
the US, when I just finished the fourth year of elementary school. I read it
again in the original version, and as a child, I was fascinated by the magical
plot that one person’s youth is maintained forever on the outside whereas the
portrait of him would get older instead. But sadly, that little fascination of
merely the plot itself was it. It was a good thing I enjoyed reading the book,
but come to think of it, I feel I never understood the novel with my heart; I
merely “read” it. All these feelings and retrospection, I felt them just by re-reading
the first chapter of the novel.
| My retrospective feelings on re-reading the novel |
In
the first chapter, not much story is developed in terms of the diverse
incidents and affairs one would expect to see in a novel. However, this is not
to say that chapter 1 was a total waste of pages-it aptly illustrates the
characteristics of some important characters and the suspected overall mood of
the novel through rich descriptions and somewhat long dialogues. The vivid descriptions
of the art studio of Basil Hallward in the very beginning suggest the
aristocratic and mysterious mood of the novel with a sense of magic and exoticism.
The conversation between Basil Hallward and Lord Henry-even though it may not
be lengthy enough to make a definite conclusion-reveals each character’s personality
and attitude toward life and art. Lord Henry gives an impression of a talented
speaker in terms of his good use of language and whit. However, his words do
not seem to carry honesty and make him sound secular, an attitude exactly
opposite to that of the artist. Two things are deductible from Basil’s frank
words: that he lives up to his firm artistic beliefs and that he may be
identified with homosexuality.
Basil’s
artistic beliefs are worth further discussion, as they enrich the novel’s
philosophical eloquence, of which I missed a significant part at the first time
I read the book. Basil expresses his thoughts and attitudes on arts through his
reluctant explanation of the reason why he cannot reveal his magnificent
portrait of Dorian. He tells Lord Henry, “An artist should create beautiful
things, but should put nothing of his own life into them.” (page 13, chap 1) as
a response to Lord Henry’s talking about poets who reflect themselves into
their literature. Considering Wilde’s devotion to this newly formed school of
arts, this can be seen as an almost explicit expression of artistic trend of Aestheticism
along with its critical remarks toward the preceding trend, Romanticism. In
addition to the revelation of contemporary trends, Basil’s words on Aestheticism
and a slight hint of homosexuality suggest possible autobiographical elements
of the novel.
So
far, there has been only indirect introduction of our infamous main character,
Dorian Gray, through the two other characters’ dialogue on Dorian’s portrait. Chapter
1 ends as Lord Henry and Basil awaits Dorian’s arrival. I wonder how Dorian
will expose his personality through the meeting of the two people. Hopefully with
Dorian’s presence, I will be able to further catch on to artistically philosophical
and autobiographical elements other than the simple story line, which I missed
out years ago.
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